Aug 27, 2013

Modest Jobs and their Benefits

Pride and self-esteem is a virtue. If however, it becomes a reason why your desired progress in life will stagnant or slowed, then there is no wisdom in your kind of self-esteem.

Many people loathe kick-starting their lives with modest jobs despite the profit that such jobs present to those who engage in them. This is, apparently, due to pride and so-called self-esteem. Some university graduates will not start from humble beginnings, preferring to start at a big bank, oil-producing or servicing company, federal government agency or ministry, Non Governmental Organization  … “The biggest man you ever saw was once a baby.” People fail to realize this. In the end, many years would have been wasted waiting for a white-collar job that may never materialize.

If you are a university graduate and choose to start from a small job such as running a business center for somebody, you could learn a number of things that may include the ability to relate with your superior and side-kicks. In the course of doing such a job, you could also meet people that could serve as your spring-board to bigger employments.  Such minor jobs are also information channels that bring news of employment openings whenever they pop up. News will not get to you in your living-room where you sit and just irk your mum.

The financial benefits, no matter how trivial, also go a long way. They will provide the means with which to afford new dresses (even if from hand-me-downs) that help you look attractive which is also important when you appear before a panel of interviewers. You will also be able to buy toiletries and pay the Okadas to move you to locations of these interviews.

There is the issue of responsibility. The mere fact that you go out when others are going out in the morning and come back with them when the sun sets is enough to change the way people perceive you –you are now a “real-man.” Compare that with the image a sit-down-at-home fellow creates in the minds of people. You will clearly see that from the way people relate to you.


Taking a contrary decision however means that you will continue to be a liability to your own parents at a time they should have been concentrating on your younger siblings.  Eventually, you will become a nuisance, a situation that now place you at a status worst than the one you feared. 

Undermining America’s Integrity from Within

Many of us have often argued that when it becomes imperative to set a prototypical nation to direct our exploration for a better nation, it is wise to set a modest target that is achievable and continue from there at the right time rather than starting with a towering goal that will not be attainable. By that, we feel that nations of the BRICS are just ideal enough as models. People are, however, more satisfied jumping over a lot of nations, in-between, to land in the United States of America (USA) – in their minds, they have built a view that the US is the sole land of impeccability.

In Nigeria, it is sad to note that our mountains of woes, rather than decline, are some what on the increase everyday. While we remain upbeat for a president that will swoop on corruption, for instance, the expected messiah comes around to grant amnesty to the few cases of successful prosecution of corruption. While we remain optimistic for a leader that will come around to banish mediocrity out of the perimeters of our nation, he comes around to base his appointments purely on the criteria of who will help him to win the next election.
One problem for which Nigerians have waited for a President to heal is the problem of 4-1-9 (scam). It is an issue that has eroded the reputation of the country remarkably that folks around the world perceive every Nigerian squarely through the prism of deception.

Recent experiences of mine have demonstrated that the issue of organized swindling is not unique to Nigeria however. Criminals are everywhere around the world, just that the intensity of crimes varies according to the nature of determinants in different locations. I have come to realize that Mr. Impeccable is not excluded, that he is not all round, after all.

Sometimes in September 2012, Adams, my brother, told me about an investment opportunity online and in the US. It goes by one of those flashy names like Earth and Heaven Millionaires, 1 Million% Royalty, Just-Been-Quenched, etc. Adams as my referee was to be rewarded with a certain percentage of any investment I make. It was the reason he worked hard to encourage me to join. I too will be paid that referral commission (as it is called in that world of cash illusion) for any individual I introduce to the millionaire makers.

I had just finished paying an old bank loan and was, hence, eligible for a new loan. The new loan I intended to use in roofing my house that I have started building with the previous loan. There was a strong temptation to invest that money; the commission they gave will double my investment in just a month. I will withdraw the capital and my dividend becomes the new capital -too good to be true but very tempting. When the loan was finally issued, I went ahead to use the money for the initial goal it was meant to accomplish so that the online investment in far-away lands became the opportunity cost; something in me kicked against the use of that money in an investment with the character of fantasia.

I however went ahead to take another loan of N100, 000.00 ($630) from the thrift in my workplace. I went through a complex chain of processes and finally invested the money. That was after agreeing to the company’s disclaimer that made it impossible for me to find any illegal redress in the event of any “unforeseen” outcome.

A few days before my investment was due to mature, I logged in to the company’s website but was re-directed to a formerly unknown website. The owner of the company had “retired” and had subsequently sold the company. At that point, the dilemma was either to agree to the terms and conditions of the new company or forfeit your investment. The terms and conditions were, perhaps, the only thing that has not changed from what the old company offered. To cut a long story short, I never withdrew a nickel from my investment but had to pay my loan issuer.

While I was waiting for my investment to mature, I was introduced to another company also in the US that offered better a percentage of your investment as commission. I sold my electric power generator and invested the money in this generous company; electric power supply had become fairly stable along my street and the power generator was dormant. The investment turned out to be the worst. The “business relationship” was just one directional in every respect as they had no phone lines with which to be contacted and never responded to any emails until all investors got tired and gave up. We invested in the bogus companies because there were people who were already reaping from their investments made as soon as the companies became known.

In December 2012, I was awakened by an annoying phone call in the middle of the night. The voice from the other end of the line introduced himself as the Head Consultant of a book marketing company in the US. His company had seen my book on Amazon. He was calling to propose the marketing of the book. I accepted. They waited for three months to allow me raised the money with which I paid an initial installment to enable the book marketing, by email campaign, to commence. This was not without regular calls to ensure I was working to fulfill my pledge of buying their “service”. Sadly, my email campaign couldn’t commence as previously agreed.  Since I was certain that was the agreement, my will to pay what was left was severely damaged.

Recently, I discovered with shock, a forum campaigning against that very company for ripping authors around the world.  I then sent an email to them with a link to that forum and requested an explanation. It turned out to be the first time they have refused to respond to my mail.  Except when I sent my email during the weekends, my mails were always responded to within twenty-four hours. It is gone two weeks now.

In Nigeria, 4-1-9 thrived as a result of a chronic legal compassion, nourished by generations of laid-back authorities or perhaps because those who live in a glass house should not throw stones. During the era of Nuhu Ribadu as the boss of Nigeria’s Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC), he meant business and scammers left the country to operate from neighboring lands. Since Ribadu also caused nightmares to authorities, some members of which had been arrested and put in the dock, the subsequent administration of late Umar Yar’adua ensured that Ribadu did not continue as EFCC boss. Now “yahoo-yahoo” boys have returned to Nigeria, operating alongside their counterparts in the Presidency, Senate, House of Reps, Ministries and agencies in all tiers of government and also the private domain.

Across the Atlantic however, the law is remarkably alert and without sympathy. It is the reason some individuals have developed sophisticated legal armors. Those that have failed to develop these complicated ways of evading the laws are, without doubt, the ones in prisons and penitentiaries across America.

In 2012, Rod Blagojevich, the Governor of the American State of Illinois was jailed for fourteen years over issues bordering on financial crimes. I learnt two things from this: firstly, that despite the tough laws, the manic-desire to make money by hook or by crook also dwells in the US. Secondly, I have also learnt that the law, in the US, is over and above everyone; it could not even spare a serving governor.

With my credit card and from the heart of Africa, I have bought many things successfully from the US. The few cases of gall and wormwood have however taught me that America is not as flawless as many of us have often thought and I will have to be cautious with some Americans.


The online investment companies may have found safe indentations where the laws cannot venture into but while they hide in those recesses however, they are also working to diminish the attractive image of the US in addition to eroding the absolute trust with which the world has held America.   

Aug 2, 2013

Femke Becomes Funke: Celebrating mediocrity

By Femke Van Zeiji
Femke van Zeiji
The writer, in her penultimate piece, shares her view on mediocrity within the Nigerian space.
I used to think corruption was Nigeria’s biggest problem, but I’m starting to doubt that. Every time I probe into one of the many issues this country is encountering, at the core I find the same phenomenon: the widespread celebration of mediocrity. Unrebuked underachievement seems to be the rule in all facets of society. A governor building a single road during his entire tenure is revered like the next Messiah; an averagely talented author who writes a colourless book gets sponsored to represent Nigerian literature overseas; and a young woman with no secretarial skills to speak of gets promoted to the oga’s office faster than any of her properly trained colleagues.
Needless to say the politician is probably hailed by those awaiting part of the loot he is stealing; the writer might have got his sponsorship from buddies he has been sucking up to in hagiographies paid for by the subjects; and the young woman’s promotion is likely to be an exchange for sex or the expectancy of it. So some form of corruption plays a role in all of these examples.
But corruption per se does not necessarily stand in the way of development. Otherwise a country like Indonesia—number 118 on Transparency International’s Corruption Perception Index, not that far removed from Nigeria’s 139—would never have made it to the G-20 group of major economies. An even more serious obstacle to development is the lack of repercussions for underachievement. Who in Nigeria is ever held accountable for substandard performance?
Since I came here, I have been on a futile search for a stable internet connection that does what it promises. I started with an MTN FastLink modem (I consider the name a cruel joke), and then I moved on to an Etisalat MiFi connection (I regularly had to keep myself from throwing the bloody thing against the wall), and now I am trying out Cobranet’s U-Go. I shouldn’t have bothered: equally crap. And everyone knows this. They groan and mutter and tweet about it. But still, to my surprise, no one calls for a class-action suit against those deceitful providers.
A one-day conference I attended last year left me equally puzzled. Organisation, attendance and outcome left a lot to be desired, if you ask me. But over cocktails, after the closing ceremony, everyone congratulated each other over the wonderful conference—that started two hours late, of which the most animated part was undeniably lunch, and in which not a single tangible decision had been made. This left me wondering whether we had attended the same event.
I thought these issues to be unrelated at first, but gradually I came to see the connection. Nigeria is the opposite of a meritocracy: you do not earn by achieving. You get to be who and where you are by knowing the right people. Whether you work in an office, for an enterprise or an NGO, at a construction site or in government, your abilities hardly ever are the reason you got there. Performing well, let alone with excellence, is not a requirement, in fact, it is discouraged. It would be too threatening: showing you’re more intelligent, capable or competent than the ‘oga at the top’ (who, as a rule, is not an overachiever either) is career suicide.
It is an attitude that trickles down from the very top, its symptoms eventually showing up in all of society, from bad governance to bad service to bad craftsmanship.
Where excellence meets no gratification, what remains to be celebrated is underachievement. That is why it is not uncommon to find Nigerians congratulating each other over substandard results. It is safer to cuddle up comfortably in shared mediocrity than to question it, since the latter might also expose your own less than exceptional performance. Add to this the taboo of criticising anyone senior or higher up and it explains why so many join in the admiration of the emperor’s new clothes.
I have been writing this column for the last year, and after ten months I realised my angles were getting more predictable and my pieces less edgy. I figured newcomers do not remain newcomers forever and therefore decided to round up the ‘Femke Becomes Funke’ series this month, a year after it started. Ever since I announced the ending, tweeps have been asking me to change my mind and in comments on the columns and through my website I get songs of praise that make me feel my analyses of Nigerian society are indispensable. If I had no sense of self-criticism, I might be tempted to reconsider my decision to discontinue the series and start producing second-rate articles. Who would point this out to me if I did?
The hardest thing to do in Nigeria is to continue to realise there is honour in achievement and pride in perfection. I imagine the frustration of the many Nigerians who do care for their work, who take pride in their outcomes and who feel the award is in a job well done. When you know beforehand that excellence will not be rewarded, you are bound to do the economically sane thing and limit your investments to accomplishing the bare minimum. This makes Nigeria a pretty cumbersome place for anyone striving for perfection.

Jul 22, 2013

Fourteenth Caine Prize shortlist announced

The shortlist for the 2013 Caine Prize for African Writing has been announced today (Wednesday 15 May) – and among the five stories chosen are an unprecedented four Nigerian entries.

The Chair of judges, art historian and broadcaster, Gus Casely-Hayford said, “The shortlist was selected from 96 entries from 16 African countries. They are all outstanding African stories that were drawn from an extraordinary body of high quality submissions.”

Gus described the shortlist saying, “The five contrasting titles interrogate aspects of things that we might feel we know of Africa – violence, religion, corruption, family, community – but these are subjects that are deconstructed and beautifully remade. These are challenging, arresting, provocative stories of a continent and its descendants captured at a time of burgeoning change.”

The winner of the £10,000 prize is to be announced at a celebratory dinner at the Bodleian Library, Oxford, on Monday 8 July.

The 2013 shortlist comprises:



As always the stories will be available to read online on our website www.caineprize.com and will be published with the 2013 workshop stories in our forthcoming anthology A Memory This Size in July 2013 by New Internationalist and seven co-publishers in Africa.

Alongside Gus on the panel of judges this year are award-winning Nigerian-born artist, Sokari Douglas Camp; author, columnist and Lord Northcliffe Emeritus Professor at UCL, John Sutherland; Assistant Professor at Georgetown University, Nathan Hensley and the winner of the Caine Prize in its inaugural year, Leila Aboulela. Once again, the winner of the £10,000 Caine Prize will be given the opportunity of taking up a month’s residence at Georgetown University, as a Writer-in-Residence at the Lannan Center for Poetics and Social Practice. The award will cover all travel and living expenses. The winner will also be invited to take part in the Open Book Festival in Cape Town in September 2013.

Last year the Caine Prize was won by Nigerian writer Rotimi Babatunde. He has subsequently co-authored a play ‘Feast’ for the Young Vic and the Royal Court theatres in London.

Read a short biography of the five shortlisted writers here.

View this press release as a PDF here...


Dates for the Diary

This year the shortlisted writers will be reading from their work at the Royal Over-Seas League on Thursday, 4 July at 7pm and at the Southbank Centre, on Sunday, 7 July at 6.30pm. On Friday, 5 July at 2-5pm and Saturday, 6 July at 5pm the shortlisted writers will also take part in the Africa Writes Festival at The British Library, organised by ASAUK

Tope Folarin wins fourteenth Caine Prize for African Writing

Nigeria’s Tope Folarin has won the 2013 Caine Prize for African Writing, described as Africa’s leading literary award, for his short story entitled ‘Miracle’ from Transition, Issue 109 (Bloomington, 2012).

The Chair of Judges, Gus Casely-Hayford, announced Tope Folarin as the winner of the £10,000 prize at a dinner held this evening (Monday, 8 July) at the Bodleian Library in Oxford.

‘Miracle’ is a story set in Texas in an evangelical Nigerian church where the congregation has gathered to witness the healing powers of a blind pastor-prophet. Religion and the gullibility of those caught in the deceit that sometimes comes with faith rise to the surface as a young boy volunteers to be healed and begins to believe in miracles.

Gus Casely-Hayford praised the story, saying: "Tope Folarin's 'Miracle' is another superb Caine Prize winner - a delightful and beautifully paced narrative, that is exquisitely observed and utterly compelling".

Tope Folarin is the recipient of writing fellowships from the Institute for Policy Studies and Callaloo, and he serves on the board of the Hurston/Wright Foundation. Tope was educated at Morehouse College, and the University of Oxford, where he earned two Master's degrees as a Rhodes Scholar. He lives and works in Washington, DC.

Also shortlisted were:



The panel of judges is chaired by Dr Gus Casely-Hayford, art historian and broadcaster, who presented the eight part documentary series 'Lost Kingdoms of Africa' on the BBC. He is currently a Research Associate at SOAS and consultant to the King's Cultural Institute. Gus sits on the Tate Britain Council and the National Portrait Gallery Board of Trustees.

Alongside Gus on the panel of judges this year are award-winning Nigerian-born artist, Sokari Douglas Camp; author, columnist and Lord Northcliffe Emeritus Professor at UCL, John Sutherland; Assistant Professor at Georgetown University, Nathan Hensley and the winner of the Caine Prize in its inaugural year, Leila Aboulela. This is the first time that a past winner of the Caine Prize has taken part in the judging.

Once again the winner of the £10,000 Caine Prize will be given the opportunity to take up a month's residence at Georgetown University, as a Writer-in-Residence at the Lannan Center for Poetics and Social Practice and will be invited to take part in the Open Book Festival in Cape Town in September.

Last year the Caine Prize was won by Nigerian writer Rotimi Babatunde. He recently co-authored Feast, a Royal Court/Young Vic co-production which ran at the Young Vic as part of World Stages for a World City.

Previous winners are Sudan's Leila Aboulela (2000), Nigerian Helon Habila (2001), Kenyan Binyavanga Wainaina (2002), Kenyan Yvonne Owuor (2003), Zimbabwean Brian Chikwava (2004), Nigerian Segun Afolabi (2005), South African Mary Watson (2006), Ugandan Monica Arac de Nyeko (2007), South African Henrietta Rose-Innes (2008), Nigerian EC Osondu (2009), Sierra Leonean Olufemi Terry (2010) and Zimbabwean NoViolet Bulawayo (2011).

View the press release here (PDF)...

Jun 15, 2013

Traditional Bone Healers and Healthcare Delivery


It is the responsibility of the different tiers of government in Nigeria to work towards ensuring an effective healthcare delivery in the country. An effective healthcare delivery does not end in mare provision of adequate healthcare centers, medics, drugs and equipment  but one that ensures that the services these centers provide are affordable.

The area of bone healing is one where the affordability can be extremely challenging due to the nature of the injuries that often require unusually long periods to heal. Despite the huge resources of our nation, large populations of the people are in plights of miserable poverty and the affordability of modern healthcare remains a frightening challenge. 

A private orthopedic hospital in Jos, the Bima Orthopedic Hospital for instance, charges between N3000 and N5000 per day for private and amenities wards respectively. Given that bone fractures often take months and at times years to heal, this underscores the huge impediment that majority of the populace faces in this area of healthcare. On the other hand, government hospitals are always without drugs. The patients only take prescriptions from the public hospitals but buy the drugs from commercial drug vendors outside the hospitals with the risks of running into bogus drugs and their evil effects. Furthermore, public hospitals are most often closed due to one industrial action or the other. Doctors often share their time between the public hospitals and their own private clinics, a situation indicative of shortages of manpower. Most times, the doctors refer patients from public hospitals to their own private clinics where the charges are astronomical.

As said before, the widespread poverty makes the situation worse. The minimum wage of N18 000 enjoyed only by a few workers at the state and federal levels of government employment is not paid by private small and medium scale enterprises that employ the majority of the population. N18 000 can barely feed a family of two. The result is that most Nigerians do not have savings for unexpected financial expenditures.

While private bone-healing centers like Bima charges totals of between N270 000 and N450 000 for a period of three months of hospitalization, there are traditional bone healers that charge as low as N30, 000 and N40, 000, covering total charges for the period of hospitalization. By this, the traditional bone healers are helping the nation to accomplish the goal of healthcare delivery to the poor.

To what extent does the government recognize the noble contribution of these native healers? Bida Alheri traditional healing center, located at the Rahol Kanang Suburb of Bukuru town in Jos-South of Plateau State, is one of such alternative healing centers. The director of the center, Mr. Bitrus D Pam, says that despite their contribution, the government do not seem to know of their existence and the role they are playing towards helping it to actualize its goal in the health sector.

First, he says, their as people who are making an impact on the health sector of the country contribution needs to be recognized. There is also the need for the government to try to find out what their difficulties are and see how it can support them to overcome some of the challenges and improve their capacities. Some of these challenges include the lack of X-Ray machines and modern beds. Another problem that his healing center faces is adequate funds to recruit additional workers the place desperately needs. He is confident that if the government can take off part of the burden he faces, his center could with reduced burden be able employ the more hands it needs. Dr. Pam narrated that when patients come in critical conditions, he does not insist on deposits prior to giving them his attention. Some of the patients have, sadly, abused this gesture by absconding without paying their bills the moment they get well again. This, he says, is one of the major challenge his center faces. Doctor Pam showed dozens of hospital cards belonging to such runaway patients. Between May and July of 2012 alone, 26 patients have absconded without paying their bills that add up to about N400 000. That, he says, is a staggering amount of money that would have helped his clinic to meet up with some of its financial obligations and get things going with relative ease.

The News Tower tried as much as possible to reach the Plateau State Commissioner of Health, Dr. Fom Dakwak, to find out whether his government is aware of the roles of these native centers and to what extent they have recognized their contribution. All efforts along this line, however, proved abortive.

The Persistence of Street Justice in Nigeria

Even in traditional African cultures, there have been standard and acceptable legal procedures in addition to cases of persons taking the law into their hands which the culture also frowned against. This is because every African community had a judicial council where legal matters are heard and judgment passed. Thus if any form of justice was administered outside of the accepted legal council, it amounted to taking the law into one’s hands. The problem in Africa however, was how to draw a conspicuous line between accepted legal procedure and what was not acceptable. In addition to this, the heads of traditional African courts were kings who were autocratic. There were also no rooms for appeals. Most often, what was paid as fine belonged to the king. As a result, punitive measures were often disproportionate and selfish. These shortcomings were the weaknesses the modern legal practice was supposed fix.

The line between guilt and innocence is so obvious that even a two-year old can see it. It explains why even toddlers fight. However, the line between who should and who should not establish guilt and pass judgment is, sadly, hazy. As a consequence, the result has been acrimoniously, far-reaching. Thousands have been either maimed or killed and possessions in the order of billions of naira have been lost.

In October 2012, four students of the University of Port Harcourt were walked completely nude and eventually burnt alive in a neighboring village on suspicion of being armed bandits. As it turned out, the students were innocent.
Street justice is not new in Nigeria. When a petty thief is arrested in northern Nigeria he is beaten to death except where a policeman arrives fast to save him or a respected individual pleads with the mob. In the south the thief is beaten and then set ablaze while still alive. The case at the University of Port Harcourt drew a lot of attention because it turned out to be a high profile scenario at a time when internet accessibility became widespread thereby allowing other parts of the world to see something that is bizarre in the context of their own cultures.

In April this year,  a previously unknown cult group by the name Ombatse demonstrated the highest degree of street justice when it killed more than thirty policemen in the Nigeria’s central state of Nassarawa. The cult has been going around coercing people to become members. The police learnt about it and set out to arrest its leder for questioning. The group learnt about it and waylaid the police. The group ‘justified’ its action with the statement that they have been conducting their activities without bordering the police and wondered why the police should be concerned about its own business.

The problem of citizens taking the laws into their own hands has become a culture in Nigeria. From its persistence, one can conclude that authorities have failed to notice its gravity in terms of creating a dire atmosphere of chaos. It is the reason why nothing has been done with the aim of ending it. Thus when people join the police or any military organization, they transfer the culture into the force and explains why the police and members of the Nigerian army are not left out in the execution of parallel justice. We have seen high profile examples in Odi in Bayelsa State and Zakibiam in Benue State during the Obasanjo administration. Under the same administration, little known Islamic groups in the north of the country were crushed by the use of force rather than in court rooms. Some of those groups survived to become Boko Haram.

Apparently, many Nigerians across the many lines of diversity have failed to respect the establishment of guilt and passing of judgment as the exclusive mandate of legally constituted authorities. The National Orientation Agency, NOA, is shouldered with the task of educating Nigerians on the policies of government the citizens are ignorant of. The Director of NOA in Plateau State, Mr. Musa K Chantu said the dimension of the problem of street justice in Nigeria is so big that it transcends the limit of the resources of his agency. The root of the problem, according to Mr. Chantu, may not just be ignorance of the demands of the law. Chantu said that their job at NOA is based, largely, on budgets and what the budget for a particular year is meant to address. Currently, he says, the budget of the agency is meant to finance awareness programs on the Freedom of Information bill that has just been passed into law.

It is easy to see the credibility of the clarification by Chantu when he says the enormity of problem exceeds the resources of his agency and that the root of the problem may not just be ignorance of the law. Where all these cases of the usurpation of the duties of the judiciary have continued, it has been seen that the law has been, largely, inactive. 

People should be arrested, tried and sentenced where they take the law into their own hands. It is the only way the people can be properly and effectively warned against doing so in future. Sometimes cases of usurpation of the law are a result of frustration over a dormant judiciary. Hence where the police make arrests and hands criminals over to the courts, the dispensation of justice should be seen to be speedy. Anything contrary to this could lead to frustration among the citizens and the police who then resort to doing what the courts have failed to do.

Newly recruited members of the police go through basic training prior to commencement work. It is expected that during such training, he must be taught that his mandate as a police officer should not go beyond investigation and arrest of criminals. He should also be taught that should he go past the limit of his mandate, he himself would have become a criminal and will be treated as such.

Truly, the root of the problem of administration of justice by the wrong persons in Nigeria can be largely traced to frustration from a dormant judiciary. Nigerians should not just be told what the law says but should be made to see what the law can do when it is disobeyed.

How I Ended My Romance with Cigarette

Cigarette smoking is a huge concern for many who have found themselves deeply engrossed in it and wish to pull out. They say that it has sub...