Nigeria's Big Vote

Vote Second Tenure or Sovereign National Conference

By Yiro Abari

Currency showing diversity 

On October 1st, 2013, Nigeria marked its 53rd independence anniversary. As is the tradition, The President of Nigeria and Commander-in-Chief of the Nigerian Armed Forces, Goodluck Ebele Jonathan, gave a speech, relayed live on radio and television. President Jonathan gave a traditional speech that often downplayed the shortcomings of the nation and played up its successes. Also, the speech was loaded with eulogy for ordinary people.  One thing was exotic in the speech though: the President touched on one of the most sensitive topics in Nigeria: the Sovereign National Conference. The President said he was setting up a committee to work towards the possibility of convening a Sovereign National Conference. The question of a Sovereign National Conference is one that a lot of Nigerians have asked for in the past but also one that a lot of other Nigerians have ran away from, due to a spectrum of reasons. In Nigeria we all know that a call for a Sovereign National Conference points to just one subject: the subject of a possible disintegration of the nation as there is nothing very sensitive that has not been discussed previously except the disintegration of the nation.

Two days after the independence anniversary, a local radio presenter hosted a show in which she threw opened the doors of her show to callers, requesting them to call and say what it is about Nigeria they love the most. As usual, there were brilliant and dumb responses. I did not call to express my feelings. Hard I called, I would have cited the beauty of the diversity of Nigeria and the potential it holds for the nation as my reasons for loving Nigeria. 

Two days before, another presenter hosted a special show to mark the anniversary. He looked at the history of Nigeria’s entertainment industry with emphasis on popular Nigeria’s entertainment in contrast to Nigeria’s folk entertainment. Among other things, he traced the history of Nigeria’s popular music. He then sampled music from some of Nigeria’s finest Highlife musicians. With just three artists taken from different regions of Nigeria, he was able to paint a picture of the beauty of Nigeria’s diversity and the potential it holds for the nation.  I was overwhelmed by the revelation that came with this. I realized that football shouldn't be the only binding factor of Nigeria but the beauty of our diversity as well.

I am a member of the Association of Nigerian Authors, ANA, on Facebook. The forum has also enabled me to see the beauty and potential of Nigeria’s diversity. Authors are people who are lucky to be born with a little writing skill. At ANA’s Facebook page, authors post excerpts of their unpublished work so that colleagues can read and give comments. After reading some of the posts, I was blown and compelled to hold my head between palms in respect of the enormity of Nigeria’s human resources which comes from the bulk of our population which is more than sand on the seashore, in addition to the fact that authors often write from the viewpoint of the regions and cultures they come from, making entries colorful and gorgeous.

What preoccupies authors in Nigeria today and elsewhere, is taking part in one literary competition or the other. With what I was able to see at ANA, I felt bad for the rest of Africa, knowing that the Nigerians will always dominate a lot of these competitions due to the advantage of its status as one huge medley of assorted nations. This year for instance, four Nigerians were among the last five men/women standing for the Caine Prize Award. Of the four, one was Hausa, one Ibo, one Yoruba and the forth from a minority tribe. The prize eventually went to one of them. This is a typical example of the importance of our size and diversity: it will always work in our favor. It is the reason I see it as a crime to call for the breakup of this colossal piece of God’s invention called Nigeria.

When many Nigerians such as me and many others call for one united Nigeria, it is not out of desperation for wanting to belong to an oil-producing nation.  I am fully conscious of the reality that my state, taken alone, can never be poor. We are home to an envious collection of economic (!) mineral deposits. We were once a home to the Amalgamated Tin Mines of Nigerian Limited, ATMN that engaged the earth of my part of Nigeria for close to a hundred years, mining Tin and Columbite and eventually left due to abrupt policy changes by the Federal Government of Nigeria. So the ore is still there. My state and many other states across Nigeria have resources that can make them financially stronger than they currently are, in the event of the Niger Delta turning its back on the rest of us. If we call for one nation, it is not out of fear of poverty but out of love for a parent we are used to and brotherhood that we are also used to, not to talk of the benefit to us all.

Those who call for the fragmentation of Nigeria are either greedy or blind to the causes of frustration for many Nigerians. The calls for the division of Nigeria used to come from the southern half of the country as a whole. After the Obasanjo presidency between 1999 and 2000, the South-West suddenly went mute on the issue of Sovereign National Conference. A section of the people from the South-East and South-South are now the ones calling for a Sovereign National Conference. The Ibos have made it clear that their huge concern is being shut out of Aso Rock, to sum it up; that Aso Rock is close and yet far. In the same vein, the South-South is calling for a Sovereign National Conference because it desperately wants a second tenure for the-big-hat-man; it is all about the Presidency! This article serves to open the minds of Nigerians who are blind to the motives behind the call for a Sovereign National Conference.

It is important to note that the fragmentation of Nigeria will not change the status of the ordinary man in the emerging nations, should all other things remain the same. If the declaration of the independence of the Niger Delta region as a state can improve things ordinary Niger Deltans would have been among the happiest Nigerians long ago. This is because in addition to the monthly subventions that are due to the region from Abuja, there is the Derivation Funds, the Ministry for Niger Delta Affairs and the Niger Delta Development Commission all of which channel huge billions to the region. The revenue that accrues to Bayelsa, a state of just two million people, within a month sometimes equals that of the whole North-East region of Nigeria within the same period. Still, the leaders of the region are not satisfied.

‘The solution to Nigeria’s woes does not lie in a Sovereign National Conference. It lies in getting rid of the greed among political and traditional leaders. In the Niger Delta, these leaders unleash militants to the nation and tolerate oil theft. Now they add the issue of the Sovereign National Conference to threaten the rest of us into surrendering another tenure that sustains the billions going into private pockets and those of their executioners in the field. The selfish political leaders of the north also threaten the rest of the nation by openly talking in favor of Boko Haram. Years back, the South-West hard threatened the rest of us with Odua People’s Congress. Along that line, one can say that the Ibos have demonstrated a high level of statesmanship that should be respected. This is because it is difficult to link the activities of the Movement for the Actualization of the Sovereign State of Biafra, MASSOB, to the regions political leaders.  Perhaps Ombatse is a weapon of greedy politicians of the North-Central region. Only time will tell.

There is the need for ordinary Nigerians, especially the youths to understand these underlying issues and work to overcome them. Since the power-sharing deal of the ruling People’s Democratic Party, PDP, excludes other Nigerians, it means that the nation has other options. If the youths can understand these tricks and throw away divisions based on tribe and religion, they can channel their votes, overwhelmingly, to the right Nigerian. If the votes are staggering, it will be difficult for the Nigeria’s Independent Electoral Commission to, successfully, play games.

The youths can find energy in the understanding of the huge benefits of diversity that we already have. The source of strength that can sustain Nigeria’s unity is not only in football but in the beauty and potential of Nigeria’s diversity. One united Nigeria remains a most.

Chris Okotie for President

Chris Okotie: Source:The Nigerian Oracle

If you were born after the Nigerian music storm of the 1980s, you will know Tuface, D’banj and P-Square but not Chris Okotie. A former Nigeria pop music star and divorcee, Christ Okotie is the founder and pastor of the Household of God International Ministries, Lagos Nigeria.

Chris Okotie stomp the consciousness of Nigerians in 1980 with his all-conquering song, I Need Someone, from an album of the same title. The prominence of his music was so strong that it defined the Nigerian urban life of the 80s; you play it and travel back to see how life was at the time. He remained conspicuous for about half a decade and, then, went behind the veils.

Sometimes while I watched the screen of a huge TV of two basic colors in the 90s, there he was, Chris Okotie with his jerry curls,  seated on a bed and dramatizing his encounter with God. He heard God’s voice while in his bedroom. The voice told him: “sit down I want to talk to you!” That was the encounter that transformed him into a minister of the Word, leading to his establishment of the Household of God Ministries International.

“Politics is a dirty game,” goes the saying. For a long time, in Nigeria, however, only the military played the dirty game. This is why many Nigerians remained naïve of the complex nature of politics. When Reverend Moses Adasu joined politics to become the Governor of Benue State during the third Republic, it was weird to many Nigerians – it is a dirty game, unbefitting of a pastor … a man of God! Then, in 1999, the military decided to drive off the filthy path of politics, leaving it to the civilians. As 2003 approached, the rhythm of political campaign started building. One of the emerging political parties was the Justice Party, fielding a former musician, dancer and a pastor, Chris Okotie, as a Presidential candidate. Since our political inexperience taught us that politics is never for the men of God, it made Okotie’s declaration extremely controversial in the eyes of Nigerians. His argument remained Mathew 5:19: “In the same way, let your good deed shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.”

The convincing argument became a strong demonstration that Nigerian democracy, if allowed to continue, will eventually grow from nascent to full maturity (we just hope that the maturity will not take too long; we are still waiting).  Uncle Shege better known as Olusegun Obasanjo won the race, Mohammadu Buhari claimed he actually won the election but was robbed, Okotie and the rest accepted the outcome. We were, however, left wondering what Okotie set out to achieve; his campaign was designed to lack an overcoming force of speed. This was in 2003.

In 2007, I walked in the Gyel neighborhood of Jos-South and beheld a glamorous Rhinoceros (Hummer) Jeep heading in the direction of the “palace” of the late Wazirin Jos, Da D. B. Zang. The next morning, I learnt that Okotie drove in that jeep that was worth more than N25 million at the time.

D. B. Zang was, at a point, the richest man in Plateau State (that also included Nassarawa State). There were times when he single-handedly financed the activities of the Plateau State branch of the Nigerian People’s Party, NPP, which ruled Plateau State, under Solomon Lar between 1979 and 1984. The trajectory of his life made him a vocal political figure as a result. The aim of OKotie’s visit was to seek for political support in the journey towards 2007 when there will be new elections.

I had persuaded Adams, my brother, to vote Buhari as I did not like the way late Umar Musa Yar’adua was bundled into the race, unprepared. When Buhari came to Jos for his political campaign, his followers sharpened cutlasses along the Bukuru Expressway and chanted religious slogans. Adams was disenchanted and voted Okotie.

During the visit to Jos, Okotie was hosted by the Nigerian Television Authority, NTA, Jos. Adams watched and was astonished by the way Okotie answered questions flung at him. He came to the conclusion that Okotie is the type of man he would have wanted as Nigeria’s President. He used his vote to make a statement, certain that Okotie will not win. Had Adams told me this, prior to the election, I would have acted likewise.

In 2002 as the campaign for the presidential elections gains force, I was still in Port Harcourt. An oil worker and fellow tribesman, Sunny Timeh, perceived Okotie’s expression of interest in the Presidency as an insult to Nigerians. According to him: “how can someone declare he wants to become Nigeria’s President after wearing jerry curls, tying a cotton band around his waist and dancing with a petty guitar?” I also listened to a friend of mine joked about Okotie’s presidential campaign, years later. According to this friend, the campaign poster of Okotie and his female running-mate actually looked like a wedding poster. The “cocoonus” north of Nigeria see Okotie as a man who is too western in lifestyle and will not embrace their aspirations as a result. They are also of the feeling that a man like Okotie is the type that will throw a disco party in the state house in the event of becoming a president, an outrage. To them it is like a throwing a party in a hallowed temple.

I have often thought that a political revolution must involve an apocalypse (!). The initial stages of The Arab Spring however taught me otherwise. As we have seen in Syria, even a violent approach has failed to bring about that desperately-desired political change. The change that can bring about a revolution in Nigeria is that of the mind, a change that will let us understand what we truly need, a change that makes us understand that the president we need must not wear a fluttering traditional agbada with a cap to fit and chant banal political slogans.

Perhaps Sunny has been right, to a certain degree. Okotie does not help his political ambition, by insisting on the ultimate as a starter. Yar’adua rose from lecturer to governor and, ultimately, to president. Goodluck Jonathan went through a very similar path. Okotie should have aimed at something comparatively modest such a governor, senator or aspire for a cabinet ministerial position and use it to exemplify what he can do. I don’t want to see his insistence on the ultimate as a show of poisonous hubris, often administered by the campuses of universities; he is humble and philanthropic with emphasis on apache kids.

Our inability, as voters, to look around to see what goes on elsewhere shows that we could be the problem of our own country and not the leadership, that what goes on at the leadership ranks is normal: a stage that many nations had passed through, albeit briefly as they had scrupulously rational and ruthless electorates. We need not look too far to see instance of individuals who came from modest backgrounds to become leaders of their own nations. Recently, Nicholas Maduro became the President of Venezuela after Hugo Chaves, his boss, died of cancer. Maduro was a bus driver. Also recently, was the election of Michel Martelly to become the Prime Minister of Haiti. Like Okotie, he was a musician. Lula Da Silva, who, a few years back, ended his second term as Brazil’s President, oversaw the country’s most remarkable period of development, a period during which it showed one of the world’s fasted growth rates alongside other nations with which they collectively came to be known as the BRICS nations. Lula was, at one time, a shoe-shine boy. Andry Rajeolina is Madagascar’s leader. He was a disc jockey (or DJ, in case disc jockey sounds too advanced).

 If Okotie’s music past was an imperfection, what about his status as an attorney … as a pastor? For those who consider music playing a immoral, what about the religious admonition that teaches us to forgive sinners who have confessed their sins. We must remove the log in our eyes to see the tiny specs in the eyes of others. What we have always wanted, desperately, has always been here with us. Grow up Nigerians.  

Kugiya Fun Haven to Become History

Dog meat Sellers at Kugiya

Kugiya is the Hausa translation of the name of a hoisting tool, the hook. How did the word, “hook,” come to be used to refer to a rendezvous of fun-seekers?

A conglomeration of old, dirty shacks subsist opposite the Central Store of the old, defunct Amalgamated Tin Mines of Nigeria (ATMN) and some two hundred and fifty meters south of the Bukuru Railway station. Of course, ATMN was the European mining company that engaged the earth of Plateau State for, perhaps, close to a century, ending in the 1980s.

We have been told that Europe built the oldest internet, better known as the railway, to satisfy its economic cravings. Thus the railway that inter-links the different locations of Nigeria has, at this very point, a diversion into ATMN’s Central Store in the town of Bukuru. The aim of the diversion was to bring the heavy equipments and machinery vital for the operations of the company into its Central Store. Hence it became imperative to have a hoisting mechanism at the very point. It explains why there is an old steel mast supporting a pulley system at the end of which hangs an awesome steel hook.

The very hook, for decades, lifted and lowered tons of heavy components of earth-moving machines into Central Store from Europe and thousands of tons of tin and columbite that went in the opposite direction. This huge steel ware that aided the European economic interest became a token with which the shanty, across the railway came to be known.

As they say, “old habits die hard.” In the face of the strong presence of modernity, the people have been able to hold on to native lifestyles in one way or the other. The drinking of local native African liquor named burkutu is one habit that has defied modernity through the ages. Kugiya is one of the many fountains of burkutu across the whole of Plateau state, home of a spectrum of cultures and a microcosm of Nigeria. Without the fear of contradiction, one can say that Kugiya remains a paradox of the most famous and notorious burkutu joints in Nigeria, not just Plateau State.

What makes Kugiya famous? It is a summit of fun. Happiness is the most important fuel that drives life. Without it, life may cease to have meaning, grinding to a halt or people may cease to live and just exist. Fun can sometimes be difficult to find though; it can be expensive. Kugiya however, offers the opportunity for the poor of the poor to find happiness. Considering that the poor and weak are in the majority, this underscores the justification for the survival of Kugiya.

The things that make Kugiya notorious are huge and skewed disproportionately against its benefits. It hosts what one may refer to as an extremism of the burden of groveling conditions for humans. The drink, dog meat and pork are not the problem but the conditions in which they come, get prepared and served. The dogs are often what Jamaicans will call “maga dogs:” diseased, famished and unattractive. Often, the pigs slaughtered there are the worst, the unconfined ones that breed around dirty gutters and putrefying human remains.   Since there are hardly any toilet facilities in Kugiya, the unusual gallons of urine that should be expected from people on a drinking extravaganza have to be “channeled” in the poor drainages that work to inhibit flow rather than aid it. The result is the foulest stench in the air of Kugiya all year round with occasional relief at times of heavy down-poor.  I leave the picture of solid human waste management to your imagination. Kugiya is also home to lunatics and destitute who share the afternoons and evenings with the sane. There are also hoodlums and junkies who find the place most convenient.

These are the fundamental issues that have come to accentuate the squalor and undesirability of the locality. In my travels, there is only one place that came close to Kugiya: Artillery in Bori Camp, Port Harcourt. 

Against all these challenges, these citizens find the place the most attractive of all places. This is due to their mindset, shaped by the simplicity of where they have been, what they have seen and what they have heard.

People can be schooled in the classroom but also by what they see, day in day out. If the hosts and their guests in Kugiya are head-over-heals in love with the place as a result of modesty in pride, little or lack of education, then they can be educated by coercion to live constantly in decency and get accustomed to it; it is in their own interest and the interest of society. Good human behavior comes through compulsion by laws. Once they get used to decency, they will never settle for anything less. Only the powerful machinery of government can bring this fundamental change in state of the mind.

On the 19th of August, the Plateau State Governor, Jonah Jang, demonstrated a remarkable show of meekness by leading his glamorous convoy into the slum of Kugiya. It was an event that put the contrasting extremes of human dignity shoulder to shoulder: glamour on one hand and drabness on the other. The governor stood in the center of a crowd of his own men and excited subjects. His eyes carefully went round until he completed a circle of inspection after which he announced that he will set up a committee to evaluate the buildings, that the owners will then be compensated, that bulldozers will then set out, that Kugiya will then become history… forever. The implication is that the destitute, urchins, vermin and the businesses in Kugiya will go.

I went to Kugiya a day after the biggest proclamation regarding its fate was made to weigh their feelings. Comrade Emmanuel George is the Chairman of Kugiya Market. He only talked about how happy the people were to receive the first citizen of the state as he could not get close enough to hear what the governor had to say. Security men kept them away from the Governor by a reasonable distance. Only press men, who swarmed the governor, heard him. Those who care about news heard it the next day.

Governor Jonah Jang refers to the last two years of his administration in Plateau State as “injury time” during which contractors must throttle softly as he wouldn’t want to leave any project without completion. The implication is that, come what may, the place where Kugiya currently stands will be replaced by something more glamorous, an extension of city renewal, an indication that things are changing.

Modest Jobs and their Benefits

Pride and self-esteem is a virtue. If however, it becomes a reason why your desired progress in life will stagnant or slowed, then there is no wisdom in your kind of self-esteem.

Many people loathe kick-starting their lives with modest jobs despite the profit that such jobs present to those who engage in them. This is, apparently, due to pride and so-called self-esteem. Some university graduates will not start from humble beginnings, preferring to start at a big bank, oil-producing or servicing company, federal government agency or ministry, Non Governmental Organization  … “The biggest man you ever saw was once a baby.” People fail to realize this. In the end, many years would have been wasted waiting for a white-collar job that may never materialize.

If you are a university graduate and choose to start from a small job such as running a business center for somebody, you could learn a number of things that may include the ability to relate with your superior and side-kicks. In the course of doing such a job, you could also meet people that could serve as your spring-board to bigger employments.  Such minor jobs are also information channels that bring news of employment openings whenever they pop up. News will not get to you in your living-room where you sit and just irk your mum.

The financial benefits, no matter how trivial, also go a long way. They will provide the means with which to afford new dresses (even if from hand-me-downs) that help you look attractive which is also important when you appear before a panel of interviewers. You will also be able to buy toiletries and pay the Okadas to move you to locations of these interviews.

There is the issue of responsibility. The mere fact that you go out when others are going out in the morning and come back with them when the sun sets is enough to change the way people perceive you –you are now a “real-man.” Compare that with the image a sit-down-at-home fellow creates in the minds of people. You will clearly see that from the way people relate to you.

Taking a contrary decision however means that you will continue to be a liability to your own parents at a time they should have been concentrating on your younger siblings.  Eventually, you will become a nuisance, a situation that now place you at a status worst than the one you feared. 

Undermining America’s Integrity from Within

Many of us have often argued that when it becomes imperative to set a prototypical nation to direct our exploration for a better nation, it is wise to set a modest target that is achievable and continue from there at the right time rather than starting with a towering goal that will not be attainable. By that, we feel that nations of the BRICS are just ideal enough as models. People are, however, more satisfied jumping over a lot of nations, in-between, to land in the United States of America (USA) – in their minds, they have built a view that the US is the sole land of impeccability.

In Nigeria, it is sad to note that our mountains of woes, rather than decline, are some what on the increase everyday. While we remain upbeat for a president that will swoop on corruption, for instance, the expected messiah comes around to grant amnesty to the few cases of successful prosecution of corruption. While we remain optimistic for a leader that will come around to banish mediocrity out of the perimeters of our nation, he comes around to base his appointments purely on the criteria of who will help him to win the next election.

One problem for which Nigerians have waited for a President to heal is the problem of 4-1-9 (scam). It is an issue that has eroded the reputation of the country remarkably that folks around the world perceive every Nigerian squarely through the prism of deception.

Recent experiences of mine have demonstrated that the issue of organized swindling is not unique to Nigeria however. Criminals are everywhere around the world, just that the intensity of crimes varies according to the nature of determinants in different locations. I have come to realize that Mr. Impeccable is not excluded, that he is not all round, after all.

Sometimes in September 2012, Adams, my brother, told me about an investment opportunity online and in the US. It goes by one of those flashy names like Earth and Heaven Millionaires, 1 Million% Royalty, Just-Been-Quenched, etc. Adams as my referee was to be rewarded with a certain percentage of any investment I make. It was the reason he worked hard to encourage me to join. I too will be paid that referral commission (as it is called in that world of cash illusion) for any individual I introduce to the millionaire makers.

I had just finished paying an old bank loan and was, hence, eligible for a new loan. The new loan I intended to use in roofing my house that I have started building with the previous loan. There was a strong temptation to invest that money; the commission they gave will double my investment in just a month. I will withdraw the capital and my dividend becomes the new capital -too good to be true but very tempting. When the loan was finally issued, I went ahead to use the money for the initial goal it was meant to accomplish so that the online investment in far-away lands became the opportunity cost; something in me kicked against the use of that money in an investment with the character of fantasia.

I however went ahead to take another loan of N100, 000.00 ($630) from the thrift in my workplace. I went through a complex chain of processes and finally invested the money. That was after agreeing to the company’s disclaimer that made it impossible for me to find any illegal redress in the event of any “unforeseen” outcome.

A few days before my investment was due to mature, I logged in to the company’s website but was re-directed to a formerly unknown website. The owner of the company had “retired” and had subsequently sold the company. At that point, the dilemma was either to agree to the terms and conditions of the new company or forfeit your investment. The terms and conditions were, perhaps, the only thing that has not changed from what the old company offered. To cut a long story short, I never withdrew a nickel from my investment but had to pay my loan issuer.

While I was waiting for my investment to mature, I was introduced to another company also in the US that offered better a percentage of your investment as commission. I sold my electric power generator and invested the money in this generous company; electric power supply had become fairly stable along my street and the power generator was dormant. The investment turned out to be the worst. The “business relationship” was just one directional in every respect as they had no phone lines with which to be contacted and never responded to any emails until all investors got tired and gave up. We invested in the bogus companies because there were people who were already reaping from their investments made as soon as the companies became known.

In December 2012, I was awakened by an annoying phone call in the middle of the night. The voice from the other end of the line introduced himself as the Head Consultant of a book marketing company in the US. His company had seen my book on Amazon. He was calling to propose the marketing of the book. I accepted. They waited for three months to allow me raised the money with which I paid an initial installment to enable the book marketing, by email campaign, to commence. This was not without regular calls to ensure I was working to fulfill my pledge of buying their “service”. Sadly, my email campaign couldn’t commence as previously agreed.  Since I was certain that was the agreement, my will to pay what was left was severely damaged.

Recently, I discovered with shock, a forum campaigning against that very company for ripping authors around the world.  I then sent an email to them with a link to that forum and requested an explanation. It turned out to be the first time they have refused to respond to my mail.  Except when I sent my email during the weekends, my mails were always responded to within twenty-four hours. It is gone two weeks now.

In Nigeria, 4-1-9 thrived as a result of a chronic legal compassion, nourished by generations of laid-back authorities or perhaps because those who live in a glass house should not throw stones. During the era of Nuhu Ribadu as the boss of Nigeria’s Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC), he meant business and scammers left the country to operate from neighboring lands. Since Ribadu also caused nightmares to authorities, some members of which had been arrested and put in the dock, the subsequent administration of late Umar Yar’adua ensured that Ribadu did not continue as EFCC boss. Now “yahoo-yahoo” boys have returned to Nigeria, operating alongside their counterparts in the Presidency, Senate, House of Reps, Ministries and agencies in all tiers of government and also the private domain.

Across the Atlantic however, the law is remarkably alert and without sympathy. It is the reason some individuals have developed sophisticated legal armors. Those that have failed to develop these complicated ways of evading the laws are, without doubt, the ones in prisons and penitentiaries across America.

In 2012, Rod Blagojevich, the Governor of the American State of Illinois was jailed for fourteen years over issues bordering on financial crimes. I learnt two things from this: firstly, that despite the tough laws, the manic-desire to make money by hook or by crook also dwells in the US. Secondly, I have also learnt that the law, in the US, is over and above everyone; it could not even spare a serving governor.

With my credit card and from the heart of Africa, I have bought many things successfully from the US. The few cases of gall and wormwood have however taught me that America is not as flawless as many of us have often thought and I will have to be cautious with some Americans.

The online investment companies may have found safe indentations where the laws cannot venture into but while they hide in those recesses however, they are also working to diminish the attractive image of the US in addition to eroding the absolute trust with which the world has held America.   

Femke Becomes Funke: Celebrating mediocrity

By Femke Van Zeiji

Femke van Zeiji

The writer, in her penultimate piece, shares her view on mediocrity within the Nigerian space.

I used to think corruption was Nigeria’s biggest problem, but I’m starting to doubt that. Every time I probe into one of the many issues this country is encountering, at the core I find the same phenomenon: the widespread celebration of mediocrity. Unrebuked underachievement seems to be the rule in all facets of society. A governor building a single road during his entire tenure is revered like the next Messiah; an averagely talented author who writes a colourless book gets sponsored to represent Nigerian literature overseas; and a young woman with no secretarial skills to speak of gets promoted to the oga’s office faster than any of her properly trained colleagues.

Needless to say the politician is probably hailed by those awaiting part of the loot he is stealing; the writer might have got his sponsorship from buddies he has been sucking up to in hagiographies paid for by the subjects; and the young woman’s promotion is likely to be an exchange for sex or the expectancy of it. So some form of corruption plays a role in all of these examples.

But corruption per se does not necessarily stand in the way of development. Otherwise a country like Indonesia—number 118 on Transparency International’s Corruption Perception Index, not that far removed from Nigeria’s 139—would never have made it to the G-20 group of major economies. An even more serious obstacle to development is the lack of repercussions for underachievement. Who in Nigeria is ever held accountable for substandard performance?

Since I came here, I have been on a futile search for a stable internet connection that does what it promises. I started with an MTN FastLink modem (I consider the name a cruel joke), and then I moved on to an Etisalat MiFi connection (I regularly had to keep myself from throwing the bloody thing against the wall), and now I am trying out Cobranet’s U-Go. I shouldn’t have bothered: equally crap. And everyone knows this. They groan and mutter and tweet about it. But still, to my surprise, no one calls for a class-action suit against those deceitful providers.

A one-day conference I attended last year left me equally puzzled. Organisation, attendance and outcome left a lot to be desired, if you ask me. But over cocktails, after the closing ceremony, everyone congratulated each other over the wonderful conference—that started two hours late, of which the most animated part was undeniably lunch, and in which not a single tangible decision had been made. This left me wondering whether we had attended the same event.

I thought these issues to be unrelated at first, but gradually I came to see the connection. Nigeria is the opposite of a meritocracy: you do not earn by achieving. You get to be who and where you are by knowing the right people. Whether you work in an office, for an enterprise or an NGO, at a construction site or in government, your abilities hardly ever are the reason you got there. Performing well, let alone with excellence, is not a requirement, in fact, it is discouraged. It would be too threatening: showing you’re more intelligent, capable or competent than the ‘oga at the top’ (who, as a rule, is not an overachiever either) is career suicide.

It is an attitude that trickles down from the very top, its symptoms eventually showing up in all of society, from bad governance to bad service to bad craftsmanship.

Where excellence meets no gratification, what remains to be celebrated is underachievement. That is why it is not uncommon to find Nigerians congratulating each other over substandard results. It is safer to cuddle up comfortably in shared mediocrity than to question it, since the latter might also expose your own less than exceptional performance. Add to this the taboo of criticising anyone senior or higher up and it explains why so many join in the admiration of the emperor’s new clothes.

I have been writing this column for the last year, and after ten months I realised my angles were getting more predictable and my pieces less edgy. I figured newcomers do not remain newcomers forever and therefore decided to round up the ‘Femke Becomes Funke’ series this month, a year after it started. Ever since I announced the ending, tweeps have been asking me to change my mind and in comments on the columns and through my website I get songs of praise that make me feel my analyses of Nigerian society are indispensable. If I had no sense of self-criticism, I might be tempted to reconsider my decision to discontinue the series and start producing second-rate articles. Who would point this out to me if I did?

The hardest thing to do in Nigeria is to continue to realise there is honour in achievement and pride in perfection. I imagine the frustration of the many Nigerians who do care for their work, who take pride in their outcomes and who feel the award is in a job well done. When you know beforehand that excellence will not be rewarded, you are bound to do the economically sane thing and limit your investments to accomplishing the bare minimum. This makes Nigeria a pretty cumbersome place for anyone striving for perfection.

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Fourteenth Caine Prize shortlist announced

The shortlist for the 2013 Caine Prize for African Writing has been announced today (Wednesday 15 May) – and among the five stories chosen are an unprecedented four Nigerian entries.

The Chair of judges, art historian and broadcaster, Gus Casely-Hayford said, “The shortlist was selected from 96 entries from 16 African countries. They are all outstanding African stories that were drawn from an extraordinary body of high quality submissions.”

Gus described the shortlist saying, “The five contrasting titles interrogate aspects of things that we might feel we know of Africa – violence, religion, corruption, family, community – but these are subjects that are deconstructed and beautifully remade. These are challenging, arresting, provocative stories of a continent and its descendants captured at a time of burgeoning change.”

The winner of the £10,000 prize is to be announced at a celebratory dinner at the Bodleian Library, Oxford, on Monday 8 July.

The 2013 shortlist comprises:

• Elnathan John (Nigeria) ‘Bayan Layi’ from Per Contra, Issue 25 (USA, 2012)
  Read Bayan Layi
• Tope Folarin (Nigeria) ‘Miracle’ from Transition, Issue 109 (Bloomington, 2012)
  Read Miracle
• Pede Hollist (Sierra Leone) ‘Foreign Aid’ from Journal of Progressive Human Services, Vol. 23.3 (Philadelphia, 2012)
  Read Foreign Aid
• Abubakar Adam Ibrahim (Nigeria) ‘The Whispering Trees’ from The Whispering Trees, published by Parrésia Publishers (Lagos, 2012)
  Read The Whispering Tree
• Chinelo Okparanta (Nigeria) ‘America’ from Granta, Issue 118 (London, 2012)
  Read America

As always the stories will be available to read online on our website www.caineprize.com and will be published with the 2013 workshop stories in our forthcoming anthology A Memory This Size in July 2013 by New Internationalist and seven co-publishers in Africa.

Alongside Gus on the panel of judges this year are award-winning Nigerian-born artist, Sokari Douglas Camp; author, columnist and Lord Northcliffe Emeritus Professor at UCL, John Sutherland; Assistant Professor at Georgetown University, Nathan Hensley and the winner of the Caine Prize in its inaugural year, Leila Aboulela. Once again, the winner of the £10,000 Caine Prize will be given the opportunity of taking up a month’s residence at Georgetown University, as a Writer-in-Residence at the Lannan Center for Poetics and Social Practice. The award will cover all travel and living expenses. The winner will also be invited to take part in the Open Book Festival in Cape Town in September 2013.

Last year the Caine Prize was won by Nigerian writer Rotimi Babatunde. He has subsequently co-authored a play ‘Feast’ for the Young Vic and the Royal Court theatres in London.

Read a short biography of the five shortlisted writers here.

View this press release as a PDF here...


Dates for the Diary

This year the shortlisted writers will be reading from their work at the Royal Over-Seas League on Thursday, 4 July at 7pm and at the Southbank Centre, on Sunday, 7 July at 6.30pm. On Friday, 5 July at 2-5pm and Saturday, 6 July at 5pm the shortlisted writers will also take part in the Africa Writes Festival at The British Library, organised by ASAUK